What If You Never Opened the Package?

This week, I'm up to Lesson #4 in "My Top 10 Faith Lessons":  We don’t all sing on key or in the same rhythm, dance with the same movements, or see life the same way.  Our task is to teach others to appreciate the differences.

All you had to do was watch us Virginia United Methodists gathered in Hampton for Annual Conference try to do the "Happy Dance" with Bishop Cho to realize the truth of this lesson!

We are certainly not all called to be dancers, or preachers, or teachers, or musicians, or.... The list could go on and on.  But we are all called by our baptism to be ministers:  to get involved, exercise spiritual disciplines, be evangelists, help our churches become missional, and celebrate our diversity and our connectionalism as United Methodists.  We must work together as partners in ministry with all our varied abilities, opinions, lifestyle choices, and ways of doing things if we are to accomplish our mission to make disciples. It takes all of God’s people to do all of God’s work.

In the description of “The Ministry of All Christians” in The Book of Discipline of The United Methodist Church 2012, paragraph 131 reads:  “There is but one ministry in Christ, but there are diverse gifts and evidences of God’s grace in the body of Christ (Ephesians 4:1-16).  The ministry of all Christians is complementary. No ministry is subservient to another.  All United Methodist are summoned and sent by Christ to live and work together in mutual interdependence and to be guided by the Spirit into the truth that frees and the love that reconciles.” (p. 96) 

If we truly believed these statements - that all people are of sacred worth and should be included in the life of the church to the fullest extent possible given their unique gifts and graces, our congregations would realize that there are even more ways to be the body of Christ than we ever imagined.  God’s gifts are richly diverse for a variety of services; yet all have worth and dignity. We are all given unique gifts to equip us for the task of being disciples. The church and the world would be different if we truly lived like we believe these statements.

We are all happiest and most whole when we are using the unique gifts of grace that God has given to us.  In leadership roles in the church, we do our best ministry when we use those gifts, especially as they flourish and change across our lifespans.  Even more importantly for our role as leaders, we are called to help others identify and use their spiritual gifts and talents within the church and community and to bring awareness to our congregations (and the world) that every gift is of the greatest importance. Helping others to recognize, develop, and use their spiritual gifts multiplies the work of the kingdom and transforms lives.  Gaining a greater appreciation of how our diversity makes us stronger transforms the world.

We each have unique gifts, strengths, talents, and abilities that enable us to live out our faith in a wide variety of ways.   The limits and variety of those gifts are known only to God. There is a quote attributed to Gautama Buddha, "The Buddha," that reads:  “Everyone is gifted – but some people never open their package.”  Certainly worth pondering, huh? And with that, lesson #4 ends….

Expectations

Continuing with my "My Personal Top 10 Faith Lessons, here is Lesson #5:  

We can’t always live up to the expectations others have of us, whether it is to act and respond like the person who held a position before us or follow the majority rather than advocate for the minority.  We each have to follow our own hearts and values.  Sometimes that upsets people.  Sometimes that thrills people.  You can never make everyone happy.  You can only live your passion and faith.

What an important lesson for all of us lay people in this week of clergy transitions in the Virginia Conference!  How many clergy in new appointments will walk in the door with expectations already set for them by congregations hoping they will be exactly like someone who was their pastor in years past?  Or step into a place where unrealistic hopes and visions are awaiting…the perfect family, the prefect set of skills and experience, the perfect understanding of “social justice”?

How many of us in lay leadership positions take on new roles with unrealistic expectations set for us because of the way someone else brought their gifts to a position or because the person that held the role for many years is less than willing for a new way of doing things to take shape?  How many of us publicly say we support a new vision or ministry, then in parking lot conversations immediately begin to undermine all that is planned?

Last March during the last meeting of the Camp Rainbow Connection Core Leadership Team that I led before we started the transition to a new camp coordinator, I shared with those present that for the first couple of years I struggled with following behind the founding director of camp. (And there had been one director in between….)  I admitted openly to them for the first time that there were times I would sneak away to an unoccupied bedroom at the Blackstone Conference and Retreat Center and just cry.  Words that were used and actions taken were anything but affirming for a new person assuming leadership. 

I also admitted to a colleague during our recent Annual Conference that I had experienced an anxiety response in the elevator at the hotel the first day I was there.  One of the dedicated lay servants connected to several ministries of my office over the years who participated on the interview team when I was hired made his living working in the elevator industry.  This loving, caring man presented me with many challenges when I first came on the Connectional Ministries staff.  Whenever he did not like my decisions or got angry with me for other reasons, he would remind me that the decision to hire me was not unanimous and that he really had to convince at least one important person on the interview panel that I should be the one for the position.  Despite all this, my husband, Steve, and I were present at his memorial service a number of years ago now and celebrated his amazing life with many others.  When I stepped into the elevator last Wednesday, I looked up at the inspection certificate.  And there, on the signature line, was the same first initial and last name of this gentleman. I immediately heard his voice say, “You were not the first choice of ---. I had to have a long conversation with him before he agreed to hire you....” Needless to say, I didn’t look at any inspection certificates again before I left Hampton.

I will never be able to live up to everyone’s expectations.  I’ll never be the “first choice” in all that I do, but God doesn’t expect me to be perfect – only to try my hardest and do my best.  We humans are the ones that place unrealistic expectations on each other.  And oh, what harm we can do.

Being a spiritual leader, whether clergy or lay, is a journey to be more like Christ.  In our leadership roles, others look to us and at us.  If we are to fulfill a guiding role in the church, we must be careful to be authentic in our personal relationship with Christ and in the Christian behavior we model.  When the integrity of life and belief is seen by others, it is recognized as good witness; that is, it attracts others to explore the Christian faith and its implications for their lives. Find your passion in your lay or ordained ministry, live as you say you believe, and lives will be transformed.

Simple yet Profound (Lesson #6)

Thank you for the many ways you have responded to the first 4 of my "Top Ten Faith Lessons."  I've had people e-mail with their own stories, tell me that I made them ponder their faith and church throughout the week, and just give me hugs.  I'm glad my stories are helping you to reflect on your faith journey. For today, here is Lesson #6 with two stories: one general and one from Camp Rainbow Connection, which is where I've learned this lesson best.

The simplest understanding of faith is often the most profound.

There is story I love to share of a man attending services at a large church.  He was never involved in anything even though he was there almost every week.  One Sunday, the minister came up to him after the service and told the man he had a job he’d like for him to consider.  The request was to take over the 3 & 4 year old choir which was made up of about 20 children.  Well, the guy played the piano and liked working with children so he said yes.  He also took the job out of a little guilt because he said his first thought was actually that he’d never done anything for the church.

As part of their fist Sunday morning presentation, the children were learning to make a church with their hands.  You remember doing that… “Here is the church, here is the steeple….” After struggling to get their hands and fingers in the right places, the little ones finally seemed to be ready.  What the new director did not anticipate, however, were the guests that would be invited to church that day.  Suddenly, when the 3 & 4 years olds were called to the front, their ranks swelled to close to 30.  Nothing could have prepared this man for the extra children just when he finally thought his “regulars” had their act together.

In his most fatherly tone, he quietly asked them to build the church with their hands so they could start the song.  As he looked across the line of children, he saw a few of the visitors having a little difficulty getting their fingers in the right places.  Then he saw one little girl on the very end of the row who did not have the church together at all.  He leaned forward, looked in her direction and again encouraged her to build the church.  Tears began to form in her eyes and trickle down her cheeks.  As the director began to move toward the small girl, he was finally able to see that one of her arms had been amputated near the elbow.  At the same time, a little boy standing on the opposite side of her, pulled his hands apart, took the little girl’s hand and proudly said, “Give me your hand.  We’ll make the church together.”

A simple understanding of what it means to be church – to grab hands and build the church together.  

Aubrey, Ellen, and Cindy were among the 61 youth and adults with intellectual disabilities that spent a week with at Camp Rainbow Connection in August of 2011.  In Bible class on the first day of camp, the campers were talking about wisdom. The Bible verse for the day was verse James 3:13.  In The Message, that verse reads:  “Do you want to be counted wise, to build a reputation for wisdom? Here's what you do: Live well, live wisely, live humbly. It's the way you live, not the way you talk, that counts.”

As the group discussed what it means to be wise, they talked about having the Bible as a guide book.  Aubrey raised his hand and said he had a question.  He didn’t really have a question, but a statement – a powerful statement. Aubrey stood up, began pointing to his palms, and said: “Jesus died on a cross, nails in his hands, nails in his hands.  And when he died, he got in our hearts .  And he loves everybody, everybody.”

Ellen stood up and added: “Yeah, he died for us.” Cindy, who normally says very little, then stood and followed with: “He died so we could love everybody, not hate anybody, but love everybody.”

Talk about wise! This was a demonstration of wisdom so simple, yet so profound, from 3 people who would be looked at by much of society as not being capable of understanding the concepts of faith, 3 people who are often overlooked or passed by because people see their disabilities rather than their gifts.  

The simplest understanding of faith is often the most profound.

Two Lessons for the Week Ahead

I've shared lessons #10 and #9 in the countdown of my top ten personal faith lessons. This week, I'm sharing two because I can't separate them.  So here we go...

Lesson #8

           

We all make mistakes, some with much longer lasting impact than others.  Accepting that we made a bad decision or did a stupid thing, getting over it and moving forward with life, and forgiving others are extremely difficult tasks.  But isn’t that what God calls us to do?  Isn’t that why Jesus died?

Too often in the church we have a hard time forgetting the mistakes people make.  Many times, we can’t even forgive ourselves for our mistakes. We all make them, big or small. God calls us to get over it! God intends that we operate within deep and abiding relationships that call for forgiveness.  If we live in true relationship with each other, there are great possibilities ahead! 

The stories I hear of things that divide us and cause us to argue in the local church make me sad.  Sure, there are major issues that we certainly need to address on every level, but the stories that make me shake my head the most and wonder what God must be thinking about us are about simple things:  the color of the carpet in the sanctuary, continuing a parsonage or moving to a housing allowance, the lease on the copier.  And please don’t bring up leadership – pastoral or lay – because too many of us always feel that somebody is wrong somewhere in those decisions:  we place blame on the Church Council or Staff-Parish Relations Committee, question who changed the rules and their hidden motivations, and know that our decision would certainly have been better than what “they” did.  What would happen if we all just “got over it” and placed our time and energy on making ourselves stronger disciples so that we can make new disciples and together transform the world?  Can you imagine a church where we lived out forgiveness the way that Jesus modeled and how that could change our personal lives and communities?  

Lesson #7

People don’t always get along, but God uses every situation to teach us lessons of grace. Human beings need to treat each other with the greatest of respect.  That is a very hard thing to do at times, but our world depends upon it! 

It has been written that: “God's Grace is a Holy Teacher. God knows we have lessons to learn and God’s Wonderful and Precious Grace is our teacher.”  Our churches will only be richer when we fully recognize how valuable each and every person is to God.

There is a prayer for use throughout Lent in This Day: A Wesleyan Way of Prayer written by Obie Wright, Jr., an elder in the Baltimore-Washington Conference that reads:  “My Lord, what a morning when you shall crown us with the crowns you are holding now above our heads.  Chastise, charm and enchant us until we have grown tall enough to wear them.” I don’t know about you, but I’ve got a ways to grow till I reach that crown.  The lessons taught through God’s grace make that growth possible.  And I pray that, especially as we move toward our Annual Conference next week, we will allow God's grace to work in and through us as we gather  and that we will above all else remember that we are disciples together on this journey of faithfulness, each needing to be lifted up in love.

My Top 10 Faith Lessons: #9

As I continue my “My Personal Top 10 Faith Lessons” that I started last week, here is Lesson #9.

You’ve got to be able to laugh at yourself.  I’m convinced that what Paul intended to say in Galatians 5:22-23 was this: “…the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, generosity, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control, laughter and the ability to not take yourself too seriously no matter what your age or status in life. There is no law against such things.”

Have you ever been around church members or others who call themselves Christians that are just gloomy people?  Nothing ever seems to make them happy, nothing ever seems to fill their hearts with joy.  Maybe those people have just been in the churches I been a part of and many that I have visited, but I don’t think that’s the case.  And sadly, I think that's the way young adults and those who have been "turned off" by church see us.

I may lose all my friends at Shady Grove with the sharing of this personal part of my faith journey, but here goes. I serve as a song leader at my church, and I threaten at times to just stop the congregation in the middle of singing a hymn because it looks so painful.  I can’t stand to look out on a group singing wonderful hymns like “Victory in Jesus” and “Every Time I Feel the Spirit” when everybody looks like knowing Jesus has made no difference in their lives. If you know “Every Time I Feel the Spirit,” you know that that the last verse says:

                                    “Ain’t but one train on this track, runs to heaven and right back.

                                    Every time I feel the Spirit, moving in my heart, I will pray.

                                    Yes, every time I feel the Spirit moving in my heart, I will pray.”

I told one of our church musicians after our congregation sang this song one Sunday that if everybody on the train was filled with as little spirit as that group, I was not getting on the train to heaven with them. I want to go with a gathering of folks that laughs, and sings with joy, and wants everyone to know where they are headed. Now, I expect you to all smile and look happy the next time you sing “Every Time I Feel the Spirit” or any of our other joyous hymns and choruses - especially if you're singing them this week for Pentecost!  (And, if you’re a member of my family at Shady Grove, I’m scheduled to be song leader next on Sunday, June 15^th – 9:30 and 11:00 AM services.  Look like following Jesus is a good thing or I may decide to stop the singing all together!! Someday I am going to have to make good on my threat.)

If we are not careful, we can get so caught up at times in the “work” of church that we forget the joy of worship, study, fellowship, and serving.  God wants us to laugh, to play, to share the love of Christ with all we meet.  God wants us to not take ourselves too seriously, to spread the good news of Jesus, to look like we really want to be faithful disciples.  Who is going to come to your church when the invitation is shared by someone who isn’t excited about following our Savior? I know Paul had to leave laughter out of the list of fruit of the Spirit purely by accident….