Trusting That Love Will See Us Through

This is such an odd season in my life.  One minute I’m (literally) on the front row of history-making events. A short time later, tears  of sadness are flowing.   I was asked recently where I am in the midst of the multitude of things that are happening in my life.  My response was “lost.

Yesterday, five new bishops were elected for the Southeastern Jurisdiction of The United Methodist Church. 

• Two women, one of those African American. The election of the first African American woman should have happened back in 1984.  But no, it’s taken us 32 years.  To have a second woman elected in the same year was something many were thinking would not happen, no matter the level of competence, education and experience.
• Of the five new bishops, two are African American.  To have a second African American elected in the same year was something many were thinking would not happen, no matter the level of competence, education and experience.  
• I would say the five new bishops fall across basically all the spectrum of differences on church issues related to human sexuality. 

These five new bishops change the makeup of our SEJ College of Bishops pretty drastically. Yet some will say not enough.  For those of you who might be reading this who feel that way, go back to what I said earlier: it has taken us 32 years to elect an African American woman in the Southeastern Jurisdiction.

So a historical day in the life of The UMC in the southeast. Celebration, excitement, laughter, tears of joy.

At the dinner break, I called my mother.  She had a hard time finding words to describe her day.  She quickly turned the phone over to my brother who was there visiting.  He shared with me that she was struggling in many ways yesterday: memory, mobility, anxiety.  Mom expresses the questions more and more often of why is God keeping her here and what purpose does life have at this stage.

At the same time, Steve is facing back surgery. He has a final medical appointment today to see if the surgery will go on as planned on Monday morning.  This is an anxious time in many ways:  a 7^th back surgery at an older age with a longer expected recovery than with previous operations.

So a time filled with anxiety in the life of the Stokes household.  Fear, stress, uneasiness, tears of sadness.

And life goes on….Five clergy elders in our jurisdiction will become new bishops at a time in the denomination when no one knows exactly what the future will look like, when only questions abound, when the work will be more difficulty than ever. Ninety years of life on this earth may be coming to an end for my mother, a transition that no one ever really wants to face. New rods and screws in a back which many of you have heard me say just really needs a zipper, an operation which hopefully will bring a much better quality of life.  And I live with the questions and uncertainties, just as so many of my friends and colleagues are also doing, trusting that Love will see us through.

Being Vulnerable in a Way Needed for Growth in Grace and Love of God, Neighbor, and Self

A number of people asked me at our recent Virginia Annual Conference about how to have local church conversations around human sexuality.  There were clergy who shared that they were hesitant to bring up the topic, and some who said they would not, because they did not want more conflict in the church. There were lay people on every part of the spectrum who shared similar sentiments.  Then there were those, both clergy and lay, who said we must have further conversation but in a way that is focused on spiritual growth and formation. 

 

Since Annual Conference, I’ve received a multitude of questions about small group leadership and resources.  To you pastors who may be reading this, honestly a few of those questions have come from laity who say they are unsure about how to approach you to offer their leadership. They are the ones who want to guide and direct times of open, honest dialogue and relationship building. Yet, there is fear: fear that you will not support them, fear that they do not have the skills needed, and yes, fear that if we don’t start talking to each other in different ways, the sugar will continue to leak from the sugar packets (going back to the presentation on Sunday morning at Annual Conference). For those of you not at Annual Conference, the loss of sugar from the packets was an image used by Rev. Tom Berlin to describe loss of members from our churches.

You can find Tom’s slides and narrative of the presentation on his blog at: http://revtomberlin.com/church-vitality/#sthash.OMTfREQo.L6pAxQu5.dpbs

The presentation at Annual Conference (without the slides being shown) is at:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ORKmpJOgqTk

In my reflections on General Conference to the Laity Session last Friday, I shared my feeling that to truly become the church together in this time and place, we are each going to have to take our role as disciples of Jesus Christ in this United Methodist Church more seriously. We are going to have to wrestle with God and learn to listen for God’s voice, not answer the questions for ourselves.  Each of us will have to decide if we are willing to make ourselves vulnerable, place our own individual brokenness on the table, be honest in our conversations, and make a  way forward together – in the general church and in our local churches.  We’re also going to have to begin “doing church” differently: parliamentary procedure and our overly structured leadership model just aren't working anymore when the challenges we’re facing don’t have easy answers.

 

Historically as Methodists, we know that the question class leaders asked the members of the early class meeting was, “Well, sister or brother, how do you find the state of your soul this evening?”  Relationships formed between the class leader and members as well as among members of the classes.  The class members came to watch over one another in love.  The class meeting provided an environment in which people could trust and be trusted, love and be loved, and be vulnerable in a way that is needed for true growth in grace and love of God, neighbor, and self.

 

I don’t usually use this blog to share resources, but I am today.  This list includes some of the books and tools that I have found helpful in understanding our United Methodist heritage and in leading small groups.  In fact, I just googled “facilitating small groups” and got about 1,180,000 results.  It’s interesting that if you make the search “facilitating small group bible study” you get only 309,000 results.  Add in “United Methodist” and the number drops to 157,000. What’s that say?

There are many tools for facilitating small groups.  Here are a few United Methodist resources I have found helpful.  

• Blueprint for Discipleship: Wesley’s General Rules as a Guide for Christian Living by Kevin M. Watson (Discipleship Resources, 2009)
• Companions in Christ: A Small Group Experience in Spiritual Formation series available through The Upper Room (Upper Room Books, 2006)
• Covenant Discipleship: Christian Formation Through Mutual Accountability by David Lowes Watson (Wipf & Stock Publishers, 2002)
• Disciples Making Disciples: A Guide for Covenant Discipleship Groups and Class Leaders by Steven Manskar (Discipleship Resources, 2016)
• Forming Christian Disciples: The Role of Covenant Discipleship and Class Leaders in the Congregation by David Lowes Watson (Wipf & Stock Publishers, 2002)
• Guide for Covenant Discipleship Groups by Gayle Turner Watson (Discipleship Resources, 2000)
• The Christian Small-Group Leader by Thomas R. Hawkins (Discipleship Resources, 2004)
• The Early Methodist Class Meeting: Its Origins and Significance by David Lowes Watson (Wipf & Stock Publishers, 2002)

Resources from outside our denomination:

• Building a Church of Small Groups: A Place Where Nobody Stands Alone by Bill Donahue & Russ Robinson (Zondervan, 2005)
• Making Small Groups Work: What Every Small Group Leader Needs to Know by Henry Cloud & John Townsend (Zondervan, 2010).  Full kit (book, leader’s guide, participant’s guide, and DVD) for group leadership training available in revised edition by Henry Cloud, Bill Donahue, and John Townsend.
• Missional Small Groups: Becoming a Community That Makes a Difference in the World by M. Scott Boren (Baker Books, 2010)
• The Relational Way: From Small Groups Structures to Holistic Life Connections by M. Scott Boren (TOUCH Publications, 2007)

United Methodist Lay Servant Ministries:  If you’re ready to explore becoming a small group leader or want to expand your skills, there are a couple of advanced courses you should consider.

• Accountable Discipleship:  This course focuses on the concept of the household of God, Scripture as divine revelation, Wesleyan understandings of grace, and the importance of the class leader in the development of the Methodist movement.  Leaders Guide:  Becoming Accountable Disciples (Revised) by Steven Manskar.  Text:  Accountable Discipleship: Living in God’s Household by Steven Manskar.
• Class Leaders:  This course explores the office of class leader in the Wesleyan Methodist tradition. It examines the need for recovering the lay pastoral ministry of the class leader for the twenty-first century church. Text:  Class Leaders by Steven Manskar and Class Leaders: Recovering a Tradition by David Lowes Watson

United Methodist Women: The spiritual growth study for 2016 is on human sexuality and would be a great resource for small group conversations in the local church beyond the scope of the UMW: http://www.unitedmethodistwomen.org/sexuality-bible

• The Bible and Human Sexuality: Claiming God’s Good Gift by Ellen Brubaker

Young People’s Ministries: I have been honored to be a member of the board of directors for Discipleship Ministries as the Division of Young People’s Ministries produced the “Hope and Self-Acceptance” module of the series, SEX:  A Christian Perspective on Our Bodies, Decisions, and Relationships. All of these resources connect sexuality with who we are as Christians. They are intended to strengthen relationships between youth and their adult leaders, to foster deep conversation during this experience and to provide the beginnings of conversations that go beyond this experience.

"First" Soil of the Virginia Conference????

Those who know me well recognize that I have a very traditional soul.  I treasure old family photos.  I’ve always loved listening to stories told by my elders.  In my kitchen is a rolling pin made from the magnolia tree next to the house where I grew up and the stool I sat on in my grandmother’s kitchen. Hanging in my closet is a child’s kimono that my brother brought me from Okinawa 50 years ago.  Those of you who know me best understand that it’s the connection between people, actions, and places that hold the strongest meaning for me.

So, when I received a request from Dawn Chesser who is serving as the worship director for the Southeastern Jurisdictional Conference for a box of “dirt from your conference” to be used in the liturgy planned for the opening worship service, I couldn’t just fill a bag with any ol’ dirt and ship it off.  Things cannot be that easy for me.  Remember, I am the woman who on the day before Annual Conference last year was stepping into the Smith River to get water representative of my baptism to use as a visual for the Laity Gala Luncheon and carrying it to Roanoke in a mason jar.

Back on April 16^th, I asked my Facebook friends for help in trying to decide the best type of soil to send.  Today, June 10^th, the box is on its way to Tennessee.  Here’s the letter and explanation I sent along. Those of you who read this and are my fellow Virginia Conference laity may never want to elect me to any leadership position ever again.

"Dear Dawn:

I had to think long and hard about what type of soil truly represented the Virginia Conference when I received your request for assistance with the liturgy for the opening worship service of the Southeastern Jurisdictional Conference.  I found it challenging to decide on a single sample to send.  As a result, this request became a social media experiment.  I put the question of what soil would be most representative on my Facebook page.  As you can imagine, a wide range of responses began to be posted immediately.  One in particular started an interesting line of conversation.  That response came from one of our young clergy members who said, “Why not get soil from the site of the first Methodist church in Virginia?” Others joined in by adding sites of other “firsts” in the history of the denomination that occurred within our boundaries.

What started as a social media experiment became a true representation of our diversity and relationships in this Annual Conference.  Attached to this letter you will find a description of the many soils filling this one simple bag.  This project became a partnership of laity and clergy; of young and old; of individuals from various geographical regions of our Conference; of large church, small church, and Connectional Ministries.  It has been a true educational process for me.  I now know more about the types of soil in Virginia than I ever imagined I would learn. Believe me when I say that in the time of collecting this soil, I have been corrected about using the word “dirt” to describe what has been taking place many, many times.  I will never use that four-letter word again when talking about the fertile ground that gives us life in so many ways.

I know that you will probably not be able to use the description of this soil in any way, but you need to know what is inside this box and the effort that went into its collection.  May it be the Virginia Conference’s contribution to our mission and ministry together and a reminder that:

• our faith is in a God that is bigger than our “institution” of church,
• our travels as disciples of Jesus Christ take us to diverse, unique places – all of which become sacred, holy ground if we seek the face of Jesus in all those we meet along the way, and
• while we have come far, the Holy Spirit continues to transform us each and every day, preparing us for the unknown paths that are yet ahead."

 

A MIXTURE OF “FIRST” SOILS FROM THE VIRGINIA ANNUAL CONFERENCE

FOR THE 2016 SOUTHEASTERN JURISDICTION CONFERENCE

 

First Peoples (Soil collected by Tim Etheredge, lay member of Enon UMC, Richmond District)

• There are two tribes of Native Peoples in Virginia with reservation/tribal lands: the Mattaponi and the Pamunkey. Treaties signed in 1646 and 1677 with the English began the establishment of reservations. Pamunkey soil, the state soil of Virginia, is formed from sediments which originated in every physiographic province in the Commonwealth and therefore represents the whole state better than most other soils.
• The Mattaponi tribe has one of the oldest reservations in the country and traces its roots to the powerful Powhatan Paramount Chiefdom, which encompassed most of Tidewater Virginia and was headed by paramount chief Powhatan (father of Pocahontas).
• Archeologists, historians, and anthropologists put Native occupation of the Pamunkey reservation lands back 10-12,000 years.  

First American Methodist Church property - Old Stone Church Site, Leesburg, a Heritage Landmark of The United Methodist Church (Soil collected by Martha Stokes, lay member of Shady Grove UMC, Glen Allen)

• The first records of American Methodism date from the 1760s. In New York and Pennsylvania, Philip Embury, Barbara Heck, and Thomas Webb were leaders in the movement. Further south, Robert Strawbridge brought Methodism to the Delmarva peninsula. It is likely that the Methodist society in Leesburg was formed under Strawbridge's influence. It was undoubtedly the first in Virginia, although its founding date is not known.
• What is certain is that on May 11, 1766, Nicholas Minor of Leesburg deeded Lot 50 to Methodist layman Robert Hamilton for "no other use but for a church or meeting house and grave yard." This lot is the earliest known American Methodist church property.  The first meeting house, made of stone, was built by 1768. It was replaced by a larger building between 1785 and 1790.
• A number of prominent early Methodists preached in the church, including Thomas Rankin, Wesley's missionary to America; Francis Asbury (who preached there in 1776); and William Watters, the first American-born Methodist traveling preacher.

First recorded Methodist sermon by an African freedman at Fairfax Chapel in Falls Church (Soil collected by Mochel Morris, pastor at Christ Crossman UMC, Arlington District)

• Harry Hoosier (or Hosier) (c. 1750–May 1806) has been described as one of the greatest Christian Evangelists in American History. Born around 1750 near Fayetteville, North Carolina, Hosier's early life is not well-documented but most sources agree he was a freedman, probably born to two African slaves. Harry Hoosier moved—or was sold—to Henry Dorsey Gough’s plantation near Baltimore. Gough, a devout Methodist, had built a chapel that became a popular stopping place for Methodist preachers. It was there that Harry Hoosier became a talented religious orator who traveled throughout the Appalachian frontier. Dr. Benjamin Rush, one of the signers of the Declaration of Independence said that, "making allowances for his illiteracy, he was the greatest orator in America". 
• Speaking after Bishop Frances Asbury, Hosier delivered his first sermon – "The Barren Fig Tree", concerning Luke 13:6–9, to the black Methodist congregation at Adams's Chapel in Fairfax County, Virginia, on May 13, 1781. His sermons called on Methodists to reject slavery and champion the common working man. 
• Oakwood Cemetery is now on the grounds of Fairfax Chapel, the first Methodist meeting house in the area.

First Session of the Virginia Conference of the Methodist Episcopal Church held at the home of William Mason in Brunswick County (Soil collected by Shaun Smith, pastor of the Philadelphia Charge, James River District)

• Mason’s Chapel, one of the earliest Methodist churches in Southside Virginia, was the site of the first Virginia Conference on May 1, 1785, with Bishop Francis Asbury presiding.
• Mason’s is part of the Old Brunswick Circuit, the oldest Methodist Circuit under continuous appointment. It was first created as the Petersburg Circuit in 1773. 

First Methodist school in Virginia (Soil collected by Jennifer Fletcher, pastor of the West Brunswick Charge, Farmville District)

• Ebenezer Academy was founded in 1793 by Bishop Frances Asbury and others in Warfield (Brunswick Co.). 
• It was the first Methodist school established in Virginia and possibly in America.   

First United Brethren Conference held in Virginia at Abraham Niswander’s home near Middletown (Soil collected by Steve Cunningham, lay member of Burnt Factory UMC, Winchester District)

• In the History of the Church of the United Brethren in Christ, Virginia Conference, Abram P. Funkhouser (1921) says the first conference was “…at Abraham Niswander’s in Virginia, May 28, 1808.”   The Virginia Conference Journals say the date was May 25, 1808.
• The Virginia Conference of The United Methodist Church is the direct descendant of the original annual conference of the United Brethren in Christ and of one of the six original conferences of the Methodist Episcopal Church.

First American-born itinerant pastor, William Watters, died at his home in McLean (Soil collected by Jim Sprouse, senior pastor of Trinity UMC, Arlington District)

• William Watters died at his home on March 29, 1827.
• The gravesite of Williams Watters in McLean is a Heritage Landmark of The United Methodist Church.

First Methodist-affiliated college (Soil collected by Sandra McMillen, pastor of the Boydton Charge, Farmville District)

• The original Randolph Macon College was in Boydton (Mecklenberg Co.).  RMC is listed as the “oldest Methodist-affiliated college still operating in the US, chartered by the Virginia General Assembly in 1830.”
• Randolph Macon moved to Ashland in 1868.

Present Virginia Conference of The United Methodist Church organized at Madison College (Soil collected by Tommy Herndon, District Superintendent of Harrisonburg District)

• First session of the present Virginia Conference UMC was held on January 3, 1970, at what is now James Madison University in Harrisonburg.

Reflections...

One more plane to go before getting home: a stop in Chicago and now in Charlotte before finally arriving in Richmond. I don’t remember taking off from Portland as I was fast asleep in my seat as soon as we started to taxi away from the gate.  The Chicago to Charlotte leg was filled with healing conversation with a younger woman returning home to a young adult with autism after caring for her father following surgery for the last week.  Time in between flights filled with reading blogs and social media posts with views from all sides of many questions and issues at General Conference.

Many of those entries are written by clergy whom I admire greatly.  Their words are written to inform, but with concern for congregations and awareness of their leadership roles in their respective levels of the denominational structure. Some I read from people who stand firmly on the conservative and progressive sides. Their words speak their hearts, sharing their understandings and feelings about where we are as The United Methodist Church and as truly hurting people – whether that hurt comes from lack of action on full inclusion or failure to produce an exit strategy for churches that want to leave. Me…Well, I’m just one of those Lay Speakers you "have to put up with" as one of our SEJ candidates for Bishop said this week.  Now, admittedly, I do have a little more experience on the annual, jurisdictional, and general church levels that most United Methodists sitting in the pews. 

Some blogs and posts make it sound as if the denomination is already dead.  Some have offered great hope for the future.  Here is where I see things on this day after, despite being so tired that I don’t remember leaving Portland.

We have an opportunity before us that is unprecedented.  Never before have our bishops been asked to offer leadership in direction of the future church as they were in Portland.  And they responded.  They have now said that they will lead us forward as partners in shaping what lies ahead.  This is history making, especially for a young denomination (…remember, we are only 48 years old) that has the opportunity to shape church in a new, ever-changing world.  No other mainline denomination is in a place to do this on a truly global scale.  I feel better leaving this General Conference than I did in leaving the last two.

If we had made decisions at this General Conference on one or both sides of many of the major questions before us, we would have left Portland as a more divided, if not separated church.  There would have been more anger and hurt – HEAR ME - on both sides and in the middle.  Our only way to move forward positively is to sit together: right, centrist, and left; American, African, Filipino, and European; English, French, Portuguese, Spanish, Korean, and Kiswahili speaking; male, female, and questioning; abled and those with limitations; blonde, blue-eyed and dark, hazel-eyed.  We don’t do it well in our local churches. We certainly are not doing it well as a nation. Would you really expect that we could do it as 864 United Methodist delegates from around the world brought together for 10 days?

We have local congregations filled with folks who have little to no understanding of what it truly means to be Wesleyan and/or United Methodists.  We haven’t done a very good job of teaching people who we are at the very core of our beliefs.  Until we do, we’ll have folks who stand up at General Conference or Annual Conference or in Charge Conferences and argue that we shouldn’t be involved in care for the environment because a particular partner seems to state that theories of evolution should be taught in our schools.  Who cares if John Wesley advocated for better sewers and water in his day?  Until we help people understand our heritage, we will have those who stand and in their well-intentioned comments hurt women in the room who have gone through abortion instead of focusing on abundant health for women and children. Do those people know of our history of beginning hospital systems in the United States and internationally, health care systems that have saved millions of lives?  Until we do, we’ll be divided even if our name and polity stays the same.

We’ve got to reach a place where our conversations are about how best to reach people for Jesus and transform the world instead of Robert’s Rules of Order and legislative process.  We’ve got to stop trying to manipulate the system through political maneuvering, attempts to stop debate, disrespecting our leadership and failing to recognize the human sides of all that we discuss.

We’ve got to…sit at the table together...sit beside each other on airplanes…sit beside each other in the church pews, around the potluck fellowship tables, and in small groups…but not just to share space. We’ve got to recognize each other’s worth, gifts, and graces.  We’ve got to reach out to support and nurture each other.  We’ve got to talk – call each other by name – feel each other’s pains and joys – walk with one another in order to see our own humanity on every side – and stay at the table no matter how hard the conversation becomes.  That’s the only way we will live into a future as UNITED followers of Jesus Christ.

Enough for now.  I’ve got a plane to catch – and no more points of order to cringe about.  I’ve got a church to go help build – one that has the potential to truly change the world.

What Will Tomorrow Bring?

Tomorrow will be a pivotal day in the life of our United Methodist Church.   By now, most of you who will read this post know that The United Methodist General Conference, meeting in Portland, OR, requested that the Council of Bishops come to us tomorrow with a plan for how the denomination can more forward as we find ourselves at an impasse on issues related to human sexuality. 

Much happened Friday and Saturday in legislative committee work.  Some ended that time late Saturday night feeling that their work had been productive and truly focused on vital ministries of our church.  Some left the Oregon Convention Center more hurt than when they entered, finding little safety in being open and honest in their feelings about the church and its people.  Some finished the night feeling smug and holding the power. Some felt that the church had been hijacked.  Depending upon where you find yourself on the spectrum of personal theology and missiology, the hijacking was at the hands of those who attempted to manipulate the system, those who protested, those who declared they would take their buildings and leave, those who felt too wounded to continue. The list could go on.  Many, like me, left feeling disheartened, sad, and wondering about the future of our life and mission together.

Rumors abounded on Sunday about plans in the works and conversations being held among various groups.  Possibilities were being floated all across Portland about how pieces of legislation that had been voted down could be brought back to life, how new visions could emerge, how we could leave not feeling as useless and helpless as we did in Tampa four years ago.  By mid-morning on Monday, we decided to pull our Virginia delegation together after what was planned to be a celebration dinner in honor of Bishop and Mrs. Cho.  We would have conversation about what was being heard.  About an hour before the meal was to start, I received a handwritten note from Bishop Cho saying that he would need to leave early to participate in a called meeting of the Council of Bishops.  Before members of the delegation left the restaurant, we talked, processed what we had heard, sang, and prayed.  By the time I got back to my hotel room, Facebook and Twitter were on fire with talk of the meeting of the Council and rumors of all types of plans and actions.

Many of us in the Virginia delegation gathered for prayer before the start of opening worship this morning.  We entered worship not knowing what the day would hold.  Some were very frustrated by the talk of being “one” that was a part of our celebration of our ecumenical relationships during worship.  Others struggled with the recognition of the 250 anniversary of the start of the African Methodist Episcopal (AME) church.  How could be celebrating the church that came from our lack of action as a united church on slavery?  When a much longer than expected break was called following worship, we all knew that something had to be coming from the bishops.  We would not be able to move from our place of great uncertainly without some type of response.  There was even a rumor that someone was going to move that the conference just adjourn.

The response came after the break.  The Council shared the broken heartedness we all felt, but was as divided as the body.  The bishops felt their call was to the unity of the church and would do their best to preside over our remaining sessions to help that come about.  Needless to say, this was not what people wanted to hear; there was a need for a different type of leadership from our bishops.  Soon after the statement about their meeting, a motion was made and moved forward by the body for the bishops to begin meeting immediately.  The request was to bring to us tomorrow a plan for how we move past the impasse where we find ourselves.  One option being raised is for a study commission which would bring a plan to a called General Conference in two years, offering a way for the churches on the most extreme ends to exit.  There is conversation that if the bishops do not lead us in bringing a plan to the floor an attempt will be made to resurrect “The Third Way,” a proposal from the Connectional Table that died in committees.  Another attempt is being made to bring a new proposal for “A Simple Way” to the floor.

Who knows what tomorrow will bring?  As chair of the Virginia delegation this year and a voice that I hope you trust, I can tell you these things for sure:

• Your delegates are struggling mightily with this.  We are blessed by your prayers and notes of love and support.  There are numerous folks from Virginia who have been here and continue to be here in Portland nurturing and caring for us – from offering spiritual guidance to bringing us doughnuts.  Each of you is offering us gifts that we will never be able to repay.  You are blessing all of us in ways that you cannot imagine.  This is the United Methodist connection at its best.
• Continue to lift us in prayer.  You elected us – lay and clergy – to a task that is physically challenging, mentally draining, emotionally difficult, and spiritually exhausting.  No matter where we are on the continuum from progressive to centrist to traditional, we all love this church.  We’ve given our lives to it:  from the youngest 20-something to the seasoned 80-somethings.  When we come home this weekend, just love us.
• Members of this delegation have been gathering for prayer from 7:15 – 7:45 AM every morning.  Prayer is what will sustain us.  Because of the tone we have set in talking with one another, in worshipping together, in struggling with issues since you elected us last June, we have a bond that I feel is very different from the two previous delegations I was part of in 2008 and 2012.  Whatever happens during these last 3 days of General Conference will happen to all of us, and it will personally change us forever.
• Remember that our work will not end on Friday at 6:30 PM when the motion to adjourn is made.  We have a story to tell you at Annual Conference and together, we will have to process what happens here in Portland.  We then will have to make our way to Lake Junaluska with the rest of our jurisdictional delegation to elect new bishops.  At this moment, that’s a task that is hard to anticipate given all the uncertainty of the next few days.  Please don’t stop the prayers when this week is over!

As I prepare to turn off this computer and rest as I can tonight, I’m reminded of two things.  The first is a statement by Parker Palmer in his book, A Hidden Wholeness.  Palmer writes: “Only when the pain of our dividedness becomes more than we can bear do most of us embark on an inner journey toward living ‘divided no more.’”  My prayer is that we as a church can live “divided no more,” but I have no idea tonight how we’re going to get there.  That leads to the second reminder.  My prayer tonight is this, a line from “Empty Me” as sung by Chris Sligh:

“Lord, empty me of me so I can be

filled with you.”

Come, Spirit, Come. NOW!

“Live your life with love, following the example of Christ…” – Ephesians 5:2 (CEB)

I tried to write Friday night, but I couldn’t.  I tried to read Friday night, but I couldn’t.  I even tried to just watch television Friday night, but I couldn’t.  There was no energy to do anything.  I just cried….

It started right before the afternoon break in our legislative committee work.  For the last two General Conferences, I haven’t reached this point until Tuesday or Wednesday of the second week.  It only took until Friday this time.  Don’t take me wrong.  There are moments of great joy, celebration, and true relationship building at our UMC General Conference.  Yet, there are moments that make your heart break.  Friday afternoon, that came as individuals stood to make speeches for or against a petition, using every political and parliamentary maneuver to try to influence the process, offering every “code word” to sway votes.  It breaks my heart that my fellow United Methodists – on both sides of issues – act this way.  But sadly, it’s not just here in Portland.  It’s in almost every local faith community, of every tradition, in every setting.  So I cry…for my own doubts and questions of faith, for my church, for our country which finds itself in exactly the same place we are as a denomination, for the world.

And I celebrate…the awesome experience of being a connectional church. 

·         I received a text message on Friday morning that reminded me of the sounds of the trumpets, only to walk into worship to the music of a brass small ensemble.  And leading that and other worship experiences have been people of all cultures, colors, ability levels, languages, sizes and shapes.  There was even a gospel choir from Norway that had us all out of our chairs. Yes, a gospel choir from Norway…not where those of us in the U.S. would expect a rousing gospel song to come from, but it was amazing.  These have been the most wonderfully diverse worship experiences, calling us all to recognize the gifts of all people.

·         On Thursday, I sat beside a woman from Mozambique who speaks very little English and tried my best to communicate.  The next day, I walked by the table where she was sitting and suddenly heard, “Where are you going?”  I knew I was to turn around and take my appointed place beside her, if for no reason other than her feeling of acceptance and security.

·         As the tears began to flow on Friday, a new friend from Sierra Leone came over, put her arm around me and said, “We all want the same thing, but it will only come in God’s time.”  While I don’t like the idea of waiting, it was her gesture of love that was important. She made sure to sit beside me when we changed spaces.

·         As those tears continued, a staff member from Discipleship Ministries came to check on me, letting me know that the staff had seen my Facebook post from earlier and wanted to support me.

·         I was invited to join a lunch conversation this morning.  When we gathered, it was me and three young clergy – one from Colorado, Montana, and Pennsylvania.  What an honor to be the old, lay person invited into this holy time of fellowship.

There are important decisions ahead that will greatly impact the life of our denomination. There will be more tears – and there will be more celebrations of what it means to truly be United Methodists.  Our deepest Wesleyan values do not rest on decisions around human sexuality. They are built upon our understanding of grace, our belief that we cannot keep our faith to ourselves – that whole idea of the connection between personal piety and social holiness, and our recognition that we are not an institution, but living examples of Jesus’ love that if we really put our minds to it could change this crazy world.

I’ve seen all kinds of blogs and posts by clergy from all parts of the world in this last week.  Many have talked about the Wesleyan quadrilateral, missiology, theology, and UMC polity.  Maybe my lay understanding is too simple, but fact is that everything comes down to trust, and we have very little – with each other or church leaders.  I honestly think that it is all because we don’t trust ourselves to lean into the Holy Spirit and give up control to a power much greater than ourselves. We’ve never really learned that important teaching from Jesus of giving up everything to follow him. Pure and simple.

On this day of Pentecost, may the fire of the Holy Spirit fill our hearts, take over our souls, and do something totally outrageous and unexpected among us!

Lessons From Around the Magnolia Tree

In the back yard of the house next door to the one I grew up in Fieldale, there was a magnolia tree.  We have a picture of my mother holding me on the day I was baptized 55 years ago with one of the neighbors under that magnolia – fairly small at that time, but so was I! All of these important issues – where acts of faith and witness were needed – first came into my life in the community around the magnolia tree.  It was faith taken from the pews of the church and put into action around that tree.

No matter what time of the year, you could look out the windows on the side of our house and see signs of life in the magnolia tree – from the birds that roosted there to the evergreen leaves. The smell of those large sweet scented flowers filled the air around our house when they were in bloom and when they were not blooming, you could see those hairy flower bulbs which are borne at the tips of the twigs and know that they would blossom again.

Living in that particular house was a family whose only child had come back to live with them in her middle age following a mental health crisis.  I grew to love and care about JoAnn because my mother and father set the example.  Even though she had some rather unusual ways of doing things and preferred to stay in the house alone, she was loved and cared for as part of our neighborhood.  We looked in on her for many years after her parents’ died and until her death.

Jack and Clara Norris opened their house to me when I was 6 weeks old and cared for me while my parents worked until I finished elementary school.  Mr. Norris was very involved with the Lions Club.  He is the first person I knew who talked about organ and tissue transplants.  He worked hard to make people aware of the need for corneas for transplants.  And as I grew, in the community around the magnolia tree, came the need for bone marrow, kidney, and tissue transplants due to illness and injury.

That magnolia tree saw my brother go off to the Vietnam War and was there when he returned.  There are pictures of our family under or near that tree on both those occasions, one in particular with my brother in his dress blue Marine uniform with a tiny little sister holding on to his leg.

Families not far from the reach of that magnolia tree lost 4 sons to AIDS in the 1980s.  Two of whom I went to school with, one who was the first boy to walk me home from school.  Of course, we were in the second grade and it was only a short distance!  But in a small town, 4 men dying of AIDS is a tremendous number.

Some of my fondest memories of Thanksgiving and Christmas are of our large extended family gathering for dinner.  I remember one Thanksgiving when my mother and one of my aunts decided to take meals to a couple of the neighbors who were alone.  I vividly remember my mother coming back one Thanksgiving in tears.  They found one of the neighbors lying on a mattress in awful surroundings, having drank everything he could find.  He had not eaten in quite some time. That Thanksgiving meal has been a lasting example to me of giving with open hearts.

That tree stood tall as friends and neighbors cared for one another with compassion during times of grief, addiction, abuse, racial turmoil, cancer, injury, and a host of other events.  That tree was a part of celebrations of home comings, weddings, graduations, family gatherings,  Halloween shenanigans and so much more. 

There are many other stories of how our community cared for one another.  But each one centers on strong faith put into action – sort of like the trunk of the magnolia tree – standing firm, deeply rooted in the teachings of Jesus and an ever-present faith in God.  A faith that has been passed on from generation to generation.  But without the outstretched branches that tree couldn’t show life – there would be no evergreen leaves or flowers, no birds singing.  Faith cannot stand by itself.  Like the branches of the magnolia, it is when the faith reaches out in into the community that it blossoms.  Remember that the magnolia flower is at the very tip of the twigs on the branches.

The lessons I learned from around the magnolia tree were about an active, working faith.  As John Wesley wrote, “Faith hath not its being from works, (for it is before them) but its perfection.”

The magnolia tree had to be cut down back in 2002 because of disease, but it keeps on giving.  I have several bowls made from its branches, a rolling pin, and a hand mirror.  When I look in that mirror, I see the legacy of that living faith.  For as James wrote, “If you keep the royal law found in Scripture, “Love your neighbor as yourself,’ you are doing right.”

So why am I headed to Portland on Sunday for the 2016 General Conference of The UMC?  If you read closely, you understand why.  If you read between the lines, you know where I stand on most social justice issues – and why.  If you want to do anything in response, pray.  Pray for courage.  Pray for transformation. Pray for me and all the other 853 delegates…and look in the mirror for your own lessons.